What A Nite ...

After the other day, Dear made me angry again...tis time he looked @ a veli pretty gal. I can take it if he looked once but he made a few glances @ her...an I was juz sitting beside him & holding his hands. Dear, I eva told U tat I dun like guys looking at other gals wen the gf is ard...but U had to do it. And tat made me realli pissed off wit U. I noe U were realli sori ...but I juz couldnt bring myself to eva believed again tat I'm the oni gal U would look at or tat U neber tink looks is important. To guys, looks are alwaz important ...quite pathetic..but it's a fact. Looks can neber last ...it's the heart tat matters most. I'm lucky tat I dun have the looks ...so I wun have guys who are hypocrites...to linger ard me juz coz of looks. Anyway, Dear brought me to Chinese Garden...a 1st time for me coz I've neber been there. There's tis Hellop Kitty Mooncake & Lantern Festival there....it's veli cute can! I enjoyde myself there ...laffing & teasing Dear. He litted up a lantern for me...I'm like tis l'il gal walking ard wit a lantern in my hands...but it's veli cute!Tanx dear I'm happy wit Dear coz we alwaz have our ways to make each other happy ....as long as we're together...we're happy! Be it at home or somewhere out there.

It was LTA's 8th D&D y'day....FuiYoOoO ~ I stayed over at Dear's place since Friday...coz we intended to go to Swissotel together. He ironed the uniform for me & picked out wat I'm supposed to wear after changing out of the uniform. He picked tis brown tube top...which is mama-mia...~ He said tat I'll fetch some attention....GeeZ....attention-grabber eh....sounds scary! Anyway, I trusted Dear's taste...I completed it wit a skirt tat I bought wit moi best fren @ Bugis. I wasnt feeling well wen we were on the way to the Raffles Ballroom....was having flu. Had runny nose & feeling cold the whole day. I din noe if I could make it ...but I had to coz I din wanna bring down the team after all the effort that we put in. No matter how sick I was, I still put in my last bit of strength to put up a good show for the last stage rehearsal. I din wanna talk much coz I din wanna bring down the team's mood...enuf rest & Dear's care & concern were all I needed. We did it! We managed to pull thru the performance. Altho there were some falls here & there...but it was an excellent performance overall! One of my stunts din go up coz both moi best fren & I lost grip of the gal's leg. We felt bad but it din pull us down coz we knew we did good for the rest. I cocked up during one of the team's dance ...hehehe ~ My Original came for the D&D. After the perfoemance, we changed & juz like wat Dear had told me....I did grabbed attention...GeeZ ~...I din noe how to react wen pple kept looking @ me. But I guess....like they said it...wen U've got it, flaunt it! So I told myself to enjoy all the attention tat I was grabbing & it went well. UMPH! I made a grave mistake tat nite by leaving my hp behind wen I went over to take some group fotos wit the team. My Original went thru all my SMS...and in it were Dear's sweet sms to me. The reason why I kept those sms is coz I wanna read them weneva I'm feeling down so I can constantly tell myself tat Dear loves me. My Original was so angry tat I was scared he might do someting @ the function...I dun mind he doin anyting to me coz I was ready for it. I'll take wateva consequences for wat I've done. He persistently wanna talk to Dear...so I had no choice but to call Dear out....they had a talk & I was fearing for Dear. I dun wanna him to get hurt coz my Original can get quite nasty. Well.....wat a nite it was. Lots of fotos taken ...lots of huggings going ard ....lots of attention being grabbed....lots of smiles exchanged....lots of applause ....lots of confusions....lots of love. All I can say is tat I do feel smting for tis nite.

Dear, I do wonder if wat we're doin is worth it. I may not be happy wit my Original ...but still, I do belong to him. U may not enjoy ur Original's company but U still belong to her. We both neber belong to each other altho we claim we do. I wonder if we're doin the rite ting ...or issit juz some test for our real r'ship? If we do realli belong to each other, we would have been by now rite? Issit juz some passing phase tat we're goin thru? After all tis has cooled down, we'll be back to our normal "happy" r'ship. Sometimes I wonder if I can eva make U happy? After making love juz nw...and those tings tat U told me...made me tink if I realli can make U happy or satisfy U? Or u've higher expectations? I can easily satisfy my Original ...but not U. I juz felt like telling U tat U shld have gone back to ur Original then. Dear, as I'm having probs wit my Original now...I juz wanna wish U all the best of luck wit ur Original ...coz I noe U can do it Dear. Tis world dun nid more sad pple....let it be juz me & my Original ...~ I guess we juz have to let it go. U said tat U would respect wateva my decision is rite?...I wanna U to let it go. Coz if U realli love someone ...U'll let go of the person. I'm willing to let U go coz I wanna U to be happy wit ur Original. I feel tat my Original loves me too...altho I dun have much of a feeling left for him. Guess coz I realli owe him so much to let it go. Yah...it's true tat I wish to go back to him. But not coz I have feelings ....coz I wanna U to be happy....coz I owe him ...coz I rather tat oni I get hurt than having so many pple hurt. I realised tat there are 2 guys who are veli madly in love wit me ...and breaking one of the hearts, ain't easy to do. Why am I in tis fix? I hate to be in tis position. I wanna be wit Dear...but I guess Fate left us half-way. Anyway, Dear has got his Original & I can neber replace her position. All the best Dear...~ they alwaz said tat ....if it's not in tis lifetime...there's alwaz another lifetime. Love U alwaz